Leading People Series, Personal Development

A Leaders Guide to Emotional Intelligence In Conflict Resolution

Understanding Emotional Intelligence for Leadership:

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions and those of others. It encompasses a range of skills, including self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social kills. In the context of leadership, EQ plays a pivotal role in shaping effective communication, decision-making, and overall team dynamics. For leaders, this skill set is invaluable, as it directly influences work environments, approaches to projects and how the workplace culture is either encouraged or discouraged. Leaders with a high level of emotional intelligence can accurately perceive emotions, regulate their responses, and empathize with others, fostering a positive and productive work environment.

Growing Importance in the Business World:

In recent years, there has been a growing recognition of the significance of emotional intelligence in the business world. As organizations strive to foster collaborative and inclusive workplaces, leaders with high emotional intelligence are increasingly valued. Beyond technical expertise, employers seek leaders who can navigate complex interpersonal relationships, inspire teams, and adapt to changing environments.

Therefore it should be unsurprising that emotional intelligence is closely tied to the success of high performance leaders. Leaders with a high level of EQ demonstrate resilience in the face of challenges, excel in communication, and cultivate positive relationships within their teams. These leaders are adept at managing their emotions, making informed decisions, and understanding the needs and motivations of those they lead.

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Okay, So What?

This is all the soft stuff. Why should leaders care about having emotional intelligence? Maybe it’s difficult to spot when emotional intelligence is both present and working happily in the background because as a soft skill, it’s easy to ignore when everything is going right. However, when there is a lack of emotional intelligence within organizations and leaders it becomes very pronounced. Poor emotional intelligence can have detrimental effects on both individuals and organizations. Here are several reasons why inadequate emotional intelligence can be harmful:

  1. Ineffective Communication:
    Leaders with poor emotional intelligence may struggle to express themselves clearly and empathetically. Communication breakdowns can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and a lack of alignment within the organization. Clear and emotionally intelligent communication is essential for conveying expectations, goals, and fostering a positive work environment.
  2. Poor Decision-Making:
    Leaders with low emotional intelligence may make impulsive, irrational, or overly reactive decisions, which can have negative consequences for the organization. The ability to consider and manage one’s emotions is vital for making well-informed and strategic choices that align with organizational goals.
  3. Lack of Employee Engagement and Morale:
    Leaders who lack emotional intelligence may struggle to connect with their team members on a personal level. This can result in low employee morale and engagement. When employees feel undervalued or misunderstood, they are less likely to be motivated, committed, or contribute positively to the organization.
  4. Difficulty in Building and Maintaining Relationships:
    Emotional intelligence is foundational for building strong interpersonal relationships. Leaders who struggle in this area may find it challenging to connect with colleagues, superiors, or subordinates. This can hinder collaboration, teamwork, and the overall sense of cohesion within the organization.
  5. Increased Workplace Conflicts:
    Poor emotional intelligence often leads to a lack of awareness about others’ perspectives and feelings. This can contribute to misunderstandings and conflicts within the workplace. Leaders who are unable to navigate and constructively resolve conflicts may create a tense and unproductive work environment.
  6. Higher Turnover Rates:
    Employees are more likely to leave an organization with leaders who exhibit poor emotional intelligence. A lack of empathy, understanding, and support from leadership can result in dissatisfaction among team members, leading to increased turnover rates. High turnover not only disrupts continuity but also incurs costs associated with recruitment and training.
  7. Resistance to Change:
    Leaders need to guide their teams through periods of change and uncertainty. Poor emotional intelligence can make it difficult for leaders to manage and alleviate concerns, leading to increased resistance to change. Successful organizational change requires leaders who can empathize with their teams and lead (guide) them through transitions effectively.
  8. Negative Organizational Culture:
    Emotional intelligence significantly influences organizational culture. Leaders who lack emotional intelligence may inadvertently contribute to a toxic or unhealthy work culture. This can hinder collaboration, innovation, and overall employee well-being, creating an environment that is not conducive to long-term success.
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Elon Musk, the visionary CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, has been criticized for exhibiting poor emotional intelligence. Musk’s impulsive and unfiltered communication style on social media has led to controversies and, at times, negatively impacted the perception of his companies. His public disputes with regulators and dismissive remarks have highlighted a lack of empathy and self-regulation, which can create a challenging work environment.

On the other hand, Disney stands out as an example of a company that incorporates emotional intelligence into its leadership approach. Disney’s commitment to diversity and inclusion, particularly in its support of the LGBTQ community, demonstrates a high level of empathy and social awareness. The company actively promotes a culture of acceptance and belonging, recognizing the importance of emotional intelligence in fostering a positive and inclusive workplace, even at the cost of political and potential economic pushback.

Leaders who prioritize emotional intelligence are more likely to inspire trust and loyalty among their teams. They can navigate conflicts with empathy, address challenges with a collaborative mindset, and create a culture that encourages innovation and resilience. In the dynamic and interconnected business world, leaders with high emotional intelligence are better equipped to adapt to change, build strong relationships, and ultimately drive success.

You Never Know What Others Are Going Through: Case Study

Empathy, a core component of emotional intelligence, is particularly crucial in leadership roles. Leaders who can put themselves in the shoes of their team members can better understand their perspectives, concerns, and motivations. This empathetic approach builds trust and strengthens interpersonal connections, laying the foundation for effective communication and collaboration.

One compelling example of the importance of empathy unfolds in the context of a leader encountering an employee who seems consistently upset, snappy, and difficult to work with.

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Imagine a scenario where an employee, typically known for their initiative and dedication, displays sudden changes in behaviour – constantly on their phone, irritable, and distant. Instead of jumping to conclusions or taking disciplinary action, a compassionate leader with emotional intelligence decides to confront the issue with empathy. Approaching the employee with genuine concern, the leader inquires about their well-being, acknowledging that these traits seem out of character.

The revelation is striking: the employee is the sole caregiver for an elderly parent currently hospitalized. Overwhelmed by grief and responsibility, the employee is grappling with the emotional toll of their situation. To compound matters, they have exhausted their company-provided personal days off from caring for this parent and are uncertain about how to cope with the ongoing challenges.

Herein lies the true test of leadership. Instead of reprimanding the employee for their recent performance or adding to their stress, the leader chooses a different path. They listen attentively, offering a compassionate ear for the employee to share their struggles. The leader recognizes the significance of the employee’s role as a caregiver and understands the toll it has taken on their well-being.

Empathy transforms the situation. The leader, rather than imposing further stress, collaborates with the employee to explore solutions. Together, they identify ways to temporarily alleviate the workload, allowing the employee the space they need to cope with their grief. The leader goes a step further, helping the employee navigate options for extended time off or additional personal days, ensuring they can balance their professional commitments with the pressing demands of their personal life.

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This story underscores the profound impact that empathy can have on leadership. By taking the time to understand the underlying issues affecting team members, leaders can foster a workplace culture that prioritizes well-being and supports individuals facing challenges. In this instance, empathy not only strengthened the leader-employee relationship but also contributed to the employee’s ability to navigate a difficult personal situation, ultimately fostering a more compassionate and resilient workplace.

Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Conflict Resolution:

Emotional intelligence (EQ) serves as a linchpin in the intricate process of conflict resolution. This set of skills, encompassing self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and interpersonal skills, is instrumental in navigating the complexities of human emotions and dynamics. Let’s delve into why emotional intelligence is essential for effective conflict resolution and explore another case study.

Consider a workplace scenario where two team members, Adam and Jordan, conflict with differing approaches to a project. Adam, with high emotional intelligence, recognizes the signs of tension and decides to address the issue proactively.

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  1. Self-Awareness:
    Adam reflects on personal biases and realizes that frustration with the project’s direction may be clouding their judgment. This self-awareness prompts Adam to approach the conflict with an open mind.
  2. Self-Regulation:
    Instead of reacting impulsively to Jordan’s critique during a team meeting, Adam takes a moment to breathe and compose themselves. This self-regulation prevents an immediate escalation of the conflict.
  3. Empathy:
    Adam understands that Jordan’s concerns may stem from a desire for project success rather than personal animosity. In a private conversation, Adam expresses empathy, acknowledging Jordan’s perspective and validating their feelings.
  4. Interpersonal Skills:
    Adam employs strong interpersonal skills during the conversation, actively listening to Jordan’s concerns and expressing their thoughts without aggression. This fosters a constructive dialogue that leads to a compromise, integrating both perspectives for a more well-rounded project approach.

In this example, Adam’s emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in resolving the conflict. By leveraging self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and interpersonal skills, Adam transforms a potential source of tension into an opportunity for collaboration, illustrating how emotional intelligence is indispensable in navigating and resolving conflicts effectively.

In the ever-evolving landscape of leadership, emotional intelligence stands out as a critical factor for success. Leaders who prioritize emotional intelligence in their approach to conflict resolution can create a more harmonious and productive work environment. By embracing empathy, refining interpersonal skills, and aligning leadership styles with emotional intelligence, leaders can navigate conflicts with finesse, fostering a culture of collaboration, understanding, and ultimately, success.

Leadership, Leading People Series

Leading People Series – Part 5 – Setting a High Bar for Standards & Expectations

People modelIn the Leading People Series, we examine some key points to consider when leading people.  Part 5 is about the need for a leader to always uphold a high bar when it comes to standards and expectations.

A leader must always set a very high bar when it comes to both standards and expectations.  The first step is to set and establish the standards and communicate the expectations.  The standards can be documented in policies and procedures and standard operating procedures (SOPs), and to be effective should be implemented wherever possible with use of visual controls.  The team needs to be trained on the standards and a part that is often forgotten or overlooked, the standards must be audited frequently to ensure sustainability and for immediate correction when deficiencies are found.

Most leaders understand the importance of standards and for setting high expectations, however, two points often neglected are:

1) Maintaining and enforcing high standards and expectations in times of significant organizational busyness and stress. 

Standards are very difficult to put in place and uphold, but virtually impossible to restore if they are forgotten, ignored or excused when times are tough or challenging.  Instead of being standards, they become occasional initiatives or pet peeves that leaders sometimes enforce when they have time or are having a bad day.  In so doing, we train our teams that it is okay, to ignore or even break standards, when we don’t have time for them.  Most importantly, when the organization is in this state, this is when the standards and expectations are needed the most to overcome the challenges faced and be successful.

2) A Leader must always lead by example by following the standards and having higher expectations of themselves than that of their team.

I’ve been told many times that I’m relentless about standards and that I have unrealistic expectations.  Perhaps.  However, I see this as a leadership strength.  No one will take a leader seriously or have respect for them if they do not follow the standards which they create and enforce.  A leader must also resist the urge to break standards or make special exceptions for yourself.

Shortly after joining a new company as a VP where I worked within a high security facility, I was told by the Security Manager that company policy would allow me to by-pass security when exiting the facility.  All other employees had to go through a rigorous security check not dissimilar to that at an airport anytime they exited.  I was shocked that there would be a company policy that would allow executives to by-pass security, however, I never did.  Not even once.  Why?  If the standard was that all of my team had to do this, and if I expected them to do so, how could I not do it myself?  Your team is always watching and they will see when you don’t follow the standards.

For more on leading by example, visit a previous post, Can Police Use Handicapped Parking Spots?.

For more on standards, visit a previous post, Who the heck needs standards?

Standards are also a necessity before kaizen.  Without standards, kaizen is not possible because there is no defined starting point from which to improve the process or situation.

How do you set a high bar for standards & expectations with your team?

 

Leadership, Leading People Series

Leading People Series – Part 4 – Listen First

Leading People Series – Part 4

People modelIn the Leading People Series, we’ll examine some key points to consider when leading people.  Part 4 is about the need for a leader to listen first, then ask how you can help.

So being self-critical, I have some work to do on this one!  Ok, maybe a lot.  Nevertheless, I do believe that as leaders we need to listen first to our team, and then ask how we can help.  I was reminded by another leader recently the importance of this when I was expressing frustration over someone not taking advice or feedback as well as I had hoped.  The other leader said to me, “Did you ask them if they wanted advice first before you gave it?”  Oops!

Sometimes as a leader it can be so hard not to offer a solution, give advice, or even sometimes tell someone exactly what they need to do.  This is usually because you so desperately want to help them or to avoid them having to learn the hard way like you may have.

Although I do have work to do to improve in this area, I do practice it and try to catch myself when I’m not doing so well.  So what can you do to listen first:

  • Obviously, the first step is to actually listen.  Stop what you are doing and focus on the person by looking at them and giving your full attention.  After they finish speaking, count to 10 in your head, giving time for them to potentially explain further or to give you some insights as to what they are asking of you, and most importantly for you to hesitate from jumping right in.
  • Ask questions to ensure you understand the situation and what has already been done while demonstrating interest, such as, “What is the impact of this?” or, “What actions have you taken so far?”
  • Ask how you can help or if they want your advice.  Often I find, people don’t want your advice, but rather just want to let you know what’s going on or to vent.
  • Ask them questions that lead them to their own ideas, thoughts, conclusions or decisions.  Use questions such as, “What options have you considered?”, “How are you planning to address this?”, “Are there other ideas or options you have considered?”, “What are the risks of doing this?”.
  • When it’s their call, tell them it’s their call but still ask how you can help them.  Ask them questions to assist them with their decision process, or to point them in the right direction of things they should consider while making the decision.  Use questions such as “Did you consider how this may impact the team member?” rather than “Don’t you think the team member will be negatively impacted by this because of …. “.  When they’ve made their decision, keep your trap shut… it was their call remember.

I recall a situation years ago when I was writing a very important A3 (form of business proposal) and had to review with two different VPs.  The first one told me to change this, change that, add this and delete the next thing.  I walked away completely demotivated, mad, and as though the A3 and contents were no longer reflecting my my work.  When I reviewed with the second VP, he listened to the proposal, asked me some questions to understand and clarify.  On points he didn’t think were articulated well, he would ask, “Is there a different way you can make this point more clear?”.  I’d make a suggestion and he would say, “Yes, that’s much better. I can understand that very clearly”.  I walked away from that leader feeling motivated, inspired and anxious to make the changes and improvements to the A3.

What do you do to listen first, then ask how you can help?

Leadership, Leading People Series, Lean and Continuous Improvement

Leading People Series – Part 3 – Undercover Boss?

Leading People Series – Part 3

People modelIn the Leading People Series, we’ll examine some key points to consider when leading people.  Part 3 is about how important going and seeing what is going on, or not going on as the case may be, is so important when leading people.

Do you need to be an “Undercover Boss” to learn what is happening in your organization?  No!  Many people think that “go & see”, or as often referred within operations as “gemba”, is a manufacturing only tool.  I think that is a big mistake!  I believe that “go & see” is a leader’s most important tool and in fact, I think it is the secret weapon!  When I say secret, I don’t mean like on the “Undercover Boss” TV reality show where the leader pretends to be someone else in order to almost deviously figure out what’s going on in their organization.  What I mean is, that go & see is an extremely effective tool for a leader to truly understand what is happening in their organization, see the challenges their team is facing, demonstrate support by removing barriers, while providing coaching and empowerment to their teams.

Although there are all kinds of “how to” have an effective go & see or gemba, just start by going to see the process of interest, regardless what it is.  Go and see it with your own eyes whether it be an administrative function, physical process a team member has to perform, customer facing interaction, user interface, spreadsheet, location of an incident, whatever the situation, just go.  Just watch for several minutes or cycles to see the abnormalities and ups/downs of it while asking questions to understand.  Start with that, what you have to do next will become clear.

Go & see is to engage with your team by showing an interest in what they do, how they do it and to assist them in being successful at it.   Our teams come to work and want to do a good job and it is a leader’s job to help remove the barriers that get in the way of our teams doing the best job they can. Over time, waste and inefficiencies seem to creep in or inadvertently get added that can cause safety, quality, productivity, or cost issues. By going and seeing, a leader is more likely to find these wastes and inefficiencies and can take action with their teams to correct them.

“Like” if you regularly use go & see as part of your leadership toolbox.

 

For more information on go & see or gemba check out these posts:

10 Important Steps of Effective Gemba Walks or “Go See”

Gemba Walks – Tip #1

Gemba Walks – Tip #2

The best place for a meeting… is on the roof!

Teaching your eyes to see

3 Steps to Having Time for Gemba

A Leader’s Best Question

Gemba by any other name is… go & see! Gemba is NOT just for manufacturing processes!

 

 

Leadership, Leading People Series

Leading People Series – Part 2 – “Being Responsible sometimes means pissing people off”

Leading People Series – Part 2

People modelIn the Leading People Series, we’ll examine some key points to consider when leading people.  Part 2 is about Lesson 1 from General (USA-Ret) Colin L. Powell’s Lessons in Leadership, which is “Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off”.  The General describes this lesson further as follows:

“Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions.  It’s inevitable – if you’re honorable.  Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.  You’ll avoid the tough decisions, you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted, and you’ll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential performance because some people might get upset.  Ironically, by procrastinating on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating everyone equally “nicely” regardless of their contributions, you’ll simply ensure that the only people you’ll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people in the organization.”

This key point may be a little controversial to some in these days where equal and joint decision making is being encouraged among all members of teams, as well as an objective to avoid upsetting anyone within the team.   Although I agree with empowering and engaging all team members where and as often as possible, I do believe there is a time and place where the leader has to be the leader and make tough decisions and give hard feedback.  At the end of the day, it is typically the leader who will be held responsible.  This doesn’t mean a leader should be disrespectful or ignorant, but it does mean that sometimes people won’t like the decision or the feedback.  The leader can still be respectful when making a tough decision or giving hard feedback and they will be respected by their team in return.

Thoughts?